As we rush through our days, one might think our only purpose on earth is survival. But survival is not a purpose. It is an instinct. All living things have an instinct to survive. It is a necessary thing we must do to exist. A purpose is the reason we exist. Only humans seek to have a purpose. Animals don’t wonder why they are walking the earth. We need to involve ourselves in life, not simply live it. We need a reason for being.
Individual Purpose
As individuals, we might have a purpose that we feel strongly about. We might feel called to write, practice medicine, enter the clergy, work with children, or be a lawyer. We might be led to support our spiritual path, culture, political affiliation, or lifestyle choice. We might be drawn to entertaining, playing sports, creating art, or building skyscrapers. There are as many purposes as there are people.
One Human Purpose
Though there are many individual purposes, I believe there is one underlying human purpose. That is to affect other people positively. It sounds simple, but we are so caught up in life that we often overlook our purpose and miss opportunities to do what we are meant to do. We interact with others every day and are given the chance to connect with and affect them and their lives. A short interaction with you could have a significant impact on another. That is how powerful our purpose is.
How Do We Affect Others
We affect others through words, actions, facial expressions, body language, and energy. You may never have considered how you can change the course of someone’s day, or even their life, just with a chance meeting, but you can. And the change you make could have a ripple effect as they go on to affect others.
Words
Nothing has more power than the spoken word. It can start and end love affairs and wars. Use them carefully to affect others. Bumping into someone and saying, “You’re an idiot!” instead of “I’m sorry” can make a big difference in that person’s day. Telling your son he looks great as he leaves for school, instead of “clean your room later,” starts him with an upbeat outlook on the day. Noticing and telling the harried cashier you like her earrings brightens her day and makes her feel someone actually sees her. Asking your wife, “Why do you take so long getting out of the car?” does not make for the start of a pleasant evening. Simple words. We say them without much thought or consideration. Yet they impact the person they are told to.
Scientific studies have shown that negative words lead to the release of stress and anxiety-inducing hormones. In contrast, positive words affect other areas of our brain, boosting confidence and well-being. So words can affect our physical health as well as our emotional state. 1 Positive, genuine words, such as “You are doing a great job” and “I always enjoy seeing you,” can make someone’s day. Are you living up to your purpose with your words and affecting people positively?
How Our Words Impact Others
Our words carry enormous weight. They often impact people for decades, providing either the courage to press on or one more reason to give up. 2
– Michael Hyatt, Founder and Chairman of Full Focus and Author of Your Best Year Ever
Actions
Sometimes, our actions speak louder than our words. You can say you love someone, but it can be confusing if you don’t follow through by acting like you do. Our actions affect others in a big way, even very small acts, such as bending over to pick up something someone drops. Most people find this to be very noble and are most grateful. It leaves them feeling positive and cared for. A kiss or a hug is a loving action. Doing someone else’s chores, bringing home a favorite dessert, calling someone to say hello, or opening and holding a door for someone are all small actions that positively influence others. Thoughtfulness is the key, and those affected become more thoughtful.
Facial Expressions & Body Language
It may be hard to believe, but your demeanor, stance, and expression affect others. If you cross your arms or turn away, you are closed off from them. You could have a defensive or even aggressive stance, which frightens people. If you are frowning, you could be angry or annoyed. Those signals will affect others you interact with. If, however, you are smiling with an open stance, facing people you meet, they will feel relaxed and welcome. A nod of the head and a smile will be taken as a greeting in passing and will leave people uplifted. If you smile during an argument, it can bring the disagreement to an end. A smile given anytime is one of our greatest assets in our purpose. It brightens the recipient’s day, and they, in turn, pass it on.
There’s Magic In Your Smile
Did you know that your smile is actually contagious? The part of your brain that is responsible for your facial expression of smiling when happy or mimicking another’s smile resides in the cingulate cortex, an unconscious automatic response area. 3
– Sarah Stevenson, Degree In Behavioral Psychology
Energy
Energy, spirit, or aura is the unseen force people have inside and transfer to others to affect them. If you have a happy, positive, upbeat energy showing through, then when you meet people, they feel it and absorb it, it has an effect on them. If your energy is stressed, frazzled, and worried, that is how you will impact those you meet. They may start to feel the same and not even know why. If you are angry, offended, or outraged, you will give off that negative energy and affect other people with it, and suddenly, they are provoked. Just as the excitement and anticipation build in the crowd at a football game as they wait for the kickoff, the energy you have passes to others. Keep your energy cheerful and optimistic so you always positively affect those you meet.
How We Affect Each Other
The principle of emotion contagion holds that the emotions of two or more people converge and are passed from person to person in larger groups. 4
– Steven Stosny, Ph.D, Author, Founder of Compassion Power and Co-Author of How To Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
When You Understand Your Purpose
When you understand that your purpose is to affect other people positively, you know you must have positive energy, use positive words and actions, and carry yourself in a positive way to live your purpose. You also become aware that others will affect you. You have the ability to dismiss an attempt to influence you negatively, but it requires conscious effort to maintain your positivity.
Living Your Purpose
When we meet with others, it may not positively affect us. We can choose to ignore it, or if the connection is more than just a fleeting moment, we can meet it with empathy. Affecting someone with sincere empathy if they are sad, angry, stressed, or otherwise negatively energized can help them feel understood, cared for, and safe and enable them to calm down. It is then possible to positively affect them with comfort, relaxation, and peace. Then, we have lived our purpose.
As we strive to live each day with our purpose in mind and consciously attempt to affect people positively, we are also creating a positive life for ourselves. If you shine a positive light, it will be reflected back at you. You benefit from your positive outlook as much as those you affect.
What Are The 35 Most Mysterious Places On Earth?
If we all lived our purpose fully, the world would be a more pleasant, peaceful, cheerful place, and we would all be much happier. Then, you could learn about those mysterious places on earth that exist, some even defying explanations.
The Earth is a mysterious place full of ever-changing elements that leave us in awe of our planet’s majesty. It is through a combination of these ever-changing elements and the interference of humankind that we come across some of the most mysterious places on Earth.
What makes a location so mysterious? For some, it’s the presence of unexplainable elements. For others, it’s simply the astonishment that something came to be in the first place. Regardless of how these mysterious places came about, many people find each of the locations puzzling in one way or another.
What do you think is our reason for existing? Tell us in the comments.
Sources: [1] Three Oaks Behavioral Health & Wellness, [2] Full Focus, [3] Psychology Today, [4] Psychology Today
“He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? But to act justly, and to love mercifully, and to walk humbly with your God.”
? Anonymous, Holy Bible: King James Version
I decided that changing the work would require saving a fair amount of income so that I could start my own business. So, I actually started doing this type of business on the side, in addition to my regular work. This was an exciting process, although I was thoroughly tired at the end of each day! I would wake up, do a little bit of work for my side business (it was something that could be run online), and then go to my regular job. Once I returned, I spent several more hours focused on my own business. This cycle repeated itself 6 days a week. I was working a total of 75-80 hours each week. Despite this, I actually started to finally get some satisfaction from my work. Even the main job seemed to be more bearable, since I now understood it was simply a means to my other goals. Once I saved enough income, the online business could be expanded and then I could start cutting back hours at the physical job and redirect them to my own business.
This was just the change I needed. It gave me a lot of encouragement seeing that I could actually make changes. More importantly I was becoming happier. This made me think about implementing even more changes. Yes, the entire process was a bit scary, but one should never be afraid to a chance at finding their happiness. You can always go back to where you were.
The next major change I implemented was moving. Most people will move from one side of town to the other. Some people will move from one town or city to another. Others may consider a move to a different state or even across the country. Myself, I went to an entirely different country, with a new language. This move turned out to be an excellent decision, and I am happier now than I can remember in quite some time.
After much contemplation and finally taking some action, I think that our purpose is to try and be happy. Obviously, this does not mean that we need to treat people badly or act like an idiot in the process of finding this. In fact, I also think that the journey to happiness is at least as important as reaching the goal itself. I am perfectly aware that not everyone will achieve this goal. The main point is that we should always be searching and striving towards this goal. It is also quite possible that once we have achieved our happiness, we will be in a better and more realistic position to then do something which benefits humanity as a whole.
One of the ultimate questions that people must answer for themselves is what their purpose is. Seriously. This is actually a question that I think most people tend not to think about because it may make them feel uncomfortable. This is a deep psychological question. Even Freud and many other types of psychologists have been fascinated with the answer to this question and the steps that people take to figure it out for themselves.
Finding our purpose is really one of the ultimate questions each person must either attempt to answer or repress.
This is something that I have been thinking a lot about recently. What is everything all about and what is really important to me? I have come to understand that these are really different ways of trying to discover purpose and meaning in our lives.
Many people think that they can find meaning in their lives through their work. This leads them to find a job, career or profession that they think they will enjoy. Possibly they have an altruistic goal and want to do something that will make the world a better place. Personally, this was never my goal. Certainly becoming a teacher in order to help kids learn and be better prepared for the world or to become better people is an admirable goal, but this was never something that I considered when trying to find my own purpose.
Many people will try and convince you that your purpose is some kind of high ideal. They will insist that you must try to make the world a better place, or do something that will create some kind of legacy or something that people will remember you by. I completely disagree. I do not think that we have any obligation to try and do something just for the sake of improving humanity.
Sometimes there is an event that seems to affect a person in a profound way. For me, this was a particular birthday. As the event approached, I became more and more reflective. Then, after the birthday arrived I actually became depressed. I began to realize that I still had a lot of dreams and goals I wanted to achieve. Unfortunately, I was not going the path I needed to in order to achieve any of them! This was quite disturbing to me. I also realized that quite possibly half my life was over already and I was certainly not happy with what I had accomplished so far.
I was not happy with much of anything in my life at that point. I hated my job (interesting that this is the first thing I list when talking about areas of happiness and discontent in my life). I was not happy with my living situation. I did have some good personal relationships and a good, supportive family. That was probably the main thing that kept me going during this process of self-discovery.
As I kept thinking about my situation, little by little I stopped blaming everyone else for my feelings and my problems. I started to take personal responsibility. My life was the way it was, because of actions I had taken in the past. I think this is one of the key things that everyone needs to do before they can find their purpose. You simply need to accept your situation for what it is and then take personal responsibility for it. There is just no other way to move on.
Once this happened, it was much easier to come up with a plan and actually take action. I identified all the areas of my life with which I was not happy. Then, I determined to change each one of them. The ones at the top of my list were work, living situation and income. I first determined to change all three of these.
Since we spend most of our lives at work, this is an area that naturally receives a lot of attention. But as I look around, I do not see many people who are truly happy or satisfied with their work. For most people this seems to be simply a job. It also seems that many people are working only for the weekend. So much for finding their purpose in their work.
If purpose is not found in work, then where else should one look? I believe that a true purpose can only come from inside. We each need to really examine our own beliefs, feelings and opinions. We each need to discover what makes us happy. This is the only way we will ever find out our true purpose.
This is another question that has bugged for a long time. How exactly does one find happiness? This is a question which I am still trying to figure out for myself. One thing I can say for sure is that if you are not happy in your current circumstances, than change your circumstances. We all have the power to do this. I think that many people do not give themselves enough credit. They say that change is impossible. Then a whole list of excuses is mentioned.
Frankly, excuses do not help. Ultimately, they just show that you are afraid and provide reasons to rationalize away your inaction. Believe me, I understand how this works. For years I just sat and waiting and brooded. All the while I grew more and more miserable. I knew that I had to change, but for some reason, just could not seem to find the motivation to actually change.
This is a hard question to answer, but I think people need to find a reason that is stronger than their fear. Maybe you are afraid of being alone? I certainly was. So I stayed around family as much as I could. However, this only made me more sad and depressed, because I saw other members of my family that seemed to have good lives and be happy. They were taking consistent action which was in line with their purpose and moving them closer and closer to achieving some of their goals.
I think there are many people who were in my prior situation. What will it take to finally get you to take some positive action? That is difficult to say. I only know that if you do not find something to motivate yourself, nothing will ever change for you.
Wow, River, excellent job of addressing this highly controversial and difficult topic (especially in this day and age of globalization, where everyone’s world views are crashing together at the same time).
Why I’m not entirely sure what my purpose on Earth is, I know that I can’t wait to read more of your articles!
River,
What a well thought out article. It’s like a concentrated gulp of the why’s of existence. Thank you!